I've been transforming my life and emerging from my comfort zone. It's not just something that's just happened but something that I have made the choice to do.
I've been making positive changes for myself and hope to inspire others to also! I am not the kind to brag or boast; I don't want to share my "achievements" (or things that well, are achievements to me anyway) with the world just to put them out there, but I want to show people what I'm capable and inspire them that they are capable too.
First of all, I've been working out. You may think so what, if you've got abs of steel, or if you're a runner, or if you're just a gym addict or an athlete but for me, I'm none of those things. I've had fitness "phases" throughout my life; back in high school I used to jog around my neighborhood every day when I wanted to get fit, and learned to count my calories (and instead of eating right, I thought that a package of pop-tarts could safely count as a meal as long as I didn't go over my calories..."sigh"). In college I would hit up the gym (because it was free) and go every day to do machines or guilt everyone I knew into playing volleyball or badminton with me on the courts. After college, I was lucky to get PAID to workout, when I did daily beach patrols for beach nesting shorebirds which included miles of surveys on sandy beaches, excessive pole pounding to put up fencing and signage, and the constant chasing of human beings that wouldn't stop disturbing the birds. The months leading up to our wedding, Josh and I joined a gym back up north where we religiously went to get in shape; I took fitness classes several times a week, we signed up for boot camp, and we even took a nutrition seminar which led to the beginning of us learning things like cutting out sugars and what the term "processed foods" really meant. It really transformed us. I took a major injury during boot camp to my ankle, which I still live with on and off today, and since then I stopped pushing myself so hard. After we moved, we got lazy, I paid to go to a gym but didn't really like it because it wasn't anything like our great gym back home, and since then I've done NOTHING. I've enjoyed being lazy. I've enjoyed counting my mile walk to and from work every day as a work-out, and considered myself a healthy eater because I'm a vegan and don't eat shitty foods.
One day recently I woke up and realized this just wasn't enough. I knew I would go through phases in my life where I like exercising, and then I don't, because I know that it's a lifestyle change you need to make and keep up with it. I realized that I had literally decided that I was okay with being a lazy slob and that needed to be stopped. Summer is coming (well, in Florida it's already been here) and being ashamed to wear shorts is no longer acceptable for me. I reached out to a fitness coach and she offered me a free trial of her beach body membership. I haven't even used it yet, because honestly what all I needed was some kind of motivation and support. Since being in a Facebook support group online and seeing sweaty selfies being posted, the summary of someone's daily workout, and the encouragement to one another to keep going during a 21 day fix I realized I had nothing to contribute but some measly vegan recipes. I didn't take sweaty selfies because I didn't want to get sweaty, and I didn't work out because I didn't feel like it. I didn't even know what to do to work out. The 5,4,3,2,1 workout involved pushups and squats so I passed on that. I hate workouts. I hate the gym. I don't want to pay to go to a gym. People I work with talk of doing "stadiums" and after asking what they were and getting an answer I said "Yeah right, you will never see me doing that". That reaction I gave was about a year ago and I have never bothered to go and try; it sounded too miserable. But I wanted to get fit and needed somewhere to start so one day a few weeks ago I told Josh "Let's go" and dragged him to the stadium. That was the start of a beautiful relationship (between me and steps).
Since then I started by going to the stadium once, then twice a week. Then when I was aiming for more I landed at the stadium on graduation day (eeeeek) and had to escape the clusterf%&k of cars just trying to park and almost gave up on working out totally. I knew that if I just went home and did other errands instead that that would be it and I probably wouldn't work out again. I drove to my work and found myself in a parking garage. I ran up and down the stairs. I did it 50 more times. I told myself that the burning in my thighs was my fat melting away. The feeling of fat crying. When I get tired and wish I had a personal trainer to push me farther, I remind myself all the money I'm saving by being my own PT. I yell at myself in my head and say "you can do one more flight" and then, "since you were able to do that, you can do it ten more times" and if I get tired I say "you can walk a flight or two, but just keep your legs moving" and then I'm tired but say "now skip every other step and run, just push yourself!" and as long as I keep moving my legs and the fat is melting, it's all okay and then suddenly I'm pushing myself like crazy and so proud by the time I'm done. I've gone there straight after work several times now to get in a workout before my walk home. I made it a goal that I have to always do the same # of floors (according to what my iPhone measures as my previous workout), or more. I pushed myself even further this past Monday when I did all that, and also walked an extra mile to a farm stand to get 3 heavy bags of produce which I then walked a mile home with. The pain was addicting.
But getting in shape is never easy if fitness and eating healthy don't go hand in hand. As a vegan, I've always considered my diet pretty healthy. But everyone has room for improvement. For example, how many times do we make pasta a week when we are in a rush and don't have time to cook anything else? How many carbs am I eating? Do I have dessert every night? Instead of replacing my breakfast with a smoothie, I had been accompanying it with it. Even if I'm not eating "unhealthy" I'm definitely not losing weight from my diet and there's plenty of need for slashing calories here and there. So I started cutting out dessert and replaced my pastas with spiralized zucchini. I've learned the art of portion control. I make a balanced smoothie to grab on the go and have as my breakfast (and not WITH it). Here's an example of a delicious addicting low carb recipe I made that's worth dying for, with both zucchini and sweet potato noodles in it. Low carbs, high flavor! Healthy appetizers and mini meals like beautiful cucumber and avocado rolls have reminded me how much I've wanted to transition to a more raw diet. I've brought healthy trail mix to work and homemade lara bars to snack on in between meals to keep my metabolism running all day long. I lost 5 pounds from my lifestyle change in a short time and it got me back on track to what my weight "should be". But that doesn't mean I don't want to become a smaller, thinner person that can have thighs that don't touch each other, and the confidence to wear a bathing suit. Hey, we all need goals right? And the other day I totally undid all I've done so far by eating an entire plate of homemade nachos, but oh well, shit happens right. I'll just undo that by going to the stadium again tomorrow.
Beside bettering myself, I've started a new routine with the dogs after learning about Cesar Milan's methods of creating balanced dogs; a walk first thing in the morning (we have a big pen/dog fence outside of our alert meant so usually don't walk them). Realistically, 4 miles (of walking with a pack-leader... migrating) is what a dog of any size needs to fulfill a small small bit of their instinctual need for natural migration and hunting (compared to 10 long hours per day in the wild), but if I only have time for ¼ mile walk then that's better than nothing and more than they have gotten before, and hey it's a start. Dog park and other forms of exercise are great but don't take the place of a long daily walk because it truly should be a bonding experience between pack leader (owner) and dog. We have taken the dogs to the stadium with us and I'm trying to incorporate more fitness opportunities they can be a part of. I've also been practicing calm assertive dominance which is important and effective communication with your dog that YOU are the pack leader. This leadership is what every dog craves, and can put a dominant dog in their place. What all dogs want is a calm assertive leader to take the responsibility of being in charge, and if they have mistakenly fulfilled that role do to an owner letting them walk all over them, they will adjust if you step up to do the role. This can ensure dogs live a balanced and healthy lifestyle, and most of their unwanted behaviors can easily be fixed once you're the pack leader. After changing my level of assertiveness with the dogs I was able to successfully lead a short walk with all three by myself WITHOUT any pulling.
I've seen too many mishaps with dogs, especially (but not limited to pits), but because of this and the misconceptions of the breed, I want to make sure our dogs are happy and balanced so we have nothing to ever worry about. They are kind and well behaved dogs, but it's natural for dogs to react to negative energy and behavior of the people around them. I can't control what other humans do and how they behave around my dogs so I have to be sure they can comfortably listen and react to me at all times and that I have the control. It's humans that instill the negative energy in bully breeds, and without proper leadership this can easily get out of control. I'm choosing now to be a responsible pet owner before we ever risk an incident with our dogs.
Besides getting fit, eating healthy, and creating the yin and yang of our dog world, I've finally had the time to focus on putting time towards me. Josh has been busy with finishing up his thesis for his masters and beginning fieldwork for his PhD position that I have more time to myself and I've made the wise choice to not let it go to waste. Between cooking more, staying active, doing art, working with the dogs and actually being somewhat social with great friends I've made in Gainesville; I have less and less time to sit around and "do nothing" (aka watching tv). Instead, I'll read a book. I love reading and have a whole stack to go of inspirational and informative reads. I'm happier with my life and less stressed now that my pets and myself are balanced. Overall, I'm happy with myself, for the fact that I've made a transformation from bring a lazy exhausted human being working 40 hours a week at my day job, and fulfilling art orders in my free time that I literally couldn't see myself doing a thing (besides maybe some exploring in nature a little)- but defiantly no fitness or activities intended to get in shape. I've pushed out of my comfort zone to really do it all! Somehow it is possible! It may not be long before I start slacking and need anther pick me up; and at that time I'll re-read this blog post and force myself to do it all over again.
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