The Adventures of Alvin: Episode 11

Why Can't Alvin be Kept in a Cage?

The answer is simple. It won't keep him in. His metal cage has been passed down to Weiner after the multiple injuries he caused to himself and the many cage bars he distorted and bent. Throughout his younger days when he was kept in such a cage, the result was raw bloody paws and a disgusting mess to come home to. Every time. He digs at the metal with his paws and barks and shrieks, causing a never ending ruckus of noise lasting for hours, with blood strewn along the carpet and squirting from the capillaries within his inflamed paws. This was just the usual.  On the daily. There was a more eventful episode one day however, involving his eyelid and the metal cage (and one to follow that story without his eyelid, but with a plastic crate).

Episode 11A: The Alvin, the Eyelid and the Metal Cage (2006)

My mom came home one day to find Alvin panicked inside his cage as usual, but this time he had a more obscure injury. He somehow managed to get his eyelid hooked on one of the metal bars of the cage. The bars of course were torn and bent from his destruction of trying to escape like a psychotic prisoner, and he created a fashionable piercing himself with a thick piece of metal as the jewelry piercing straight through the flesh of his eyelid. My mom was panicked because as his excitement increased from wanting to greet her, he moved about erotically, stretching the flesh and the wound of his newly created piercing. She attempted to grab him and keep him still.. but being home alone, she needed to reach for the phone to call for help. Somehow she maneuvered a pose which held him still and also allowed her to reach the phone to get assistance. After help arrived (my Uncle Jeff AKA UJ), they were able to alleviate his eyelid from the metal. As with most of his injuries, my mom refused to use a vet visit on his usual shenanigans, so the wound had to heal naturally... which it did.

Episode 11B: The Alvin, the Mouth and the Plastic Crate (2013)

A more recent occurrence, was my mom bringing me a gift home one day: a super large sized plastic crate for Alvin. After years of him not going in a cage because of his previous injuries, my mom had had enough of his destruction and attempted to try again without hesitation. The crate was a clearance item at Petco, so it was worth a shot.

So far so good, Alvin remained in his crate for many days without a mark on it. He even liked to sleep in it while we were home, but we kept the entire crate bungee corded around numerous times as an extra precaution when we weren't. There was of course lots of barking and noise, but minimal blood (just some smeared on the inside of the crate.. from who knows what part of his body) and the door was still intact. Seemed partially successful. But as you should know if you had been following the Adventures of Alvin... there are no success stories with Alvin that last for long.

After about a week, some damages started to accrue. The plastic clips that held the top half of the crate to the bottom began to loosen and the plastic parts that held the door in place snapped off from his constant throwing of his body full force into the door. No problem, we thought, after adding a few more bungee cords. The bungees began to stretch and more and more blood stains formed each day. The blood began spreading to the outside of the crate.

Next step was for me to put the entire crate with Alvin in it in the front closet. I wedged it in there so that the door of the crate was against a wall and he couldn't push it open. With miscellaneous items we actually cared about within a few feet of the crate, I should have known better. A portable AC unit was within a few feet of the closet and I came home to see the power cord severed and the whole cord pulled into the crate. It was pulled through a small hole on the bottom corner where the crate door connected to the rest of the crate and where he was forming an escape route with his mouth, proven by the blood drawings and and teeth marks. The shape of the hole looked similar to a shark bite. I should have known better. Stupid me.

Well, too smart to just give up at this point, we insisted he needed to stay in that cage. The more he fought to get out, the more we were determined to keep him in. Day by day the hole got bigger, somehow being created by a mouth with no teeth in it, since he had lost all his teeth years ago to the excessive rawhide chewing as another means of trying to keep him distracted whenever we left the house. Eventually he chewed a whole big enough for all 50 lbs. of him to climb out, leaving mouth shaped chunks of plastic and blood stains all over the floor.

So.. in case you were wondering why we don't just put him in a cage or a crate when we leave the house.. that is your answer. I have been given the suggestion of investing in a stainless steel box that's indestructible.. but although I have my doubts of him NOT getting out of it, it's just too much to invest into at this point for a 12 year old dog. It would have been helpful 12 years ago...