Halfway through our 15 hour drive from Jersey down to Florida, we stopped at America's favorite highway oasis at "South of the Border" in South Carolina. I still haven't figured out what makes this place so epic, but I can imagine it has something to do with the hat store with headwear from all around the world, the zoo of large miniature golf statue animals in neon colors residing around the parking lot, the souvenir shop with the oddest of items, the "reptile lagoon" that charges money to see what I can imagine is a small reptile collection comparable to my own, the world famous "Pedro" which I still haven't met, or perhaps even the "Pet Toilets."
Every trip down south and back with Josh when we were still New Jersians always included a stop at Pedro's place.... eerily dead of people at any time we stopped there, I still insisted on dragging Josh into the fun stores surrounded by the neon lights and unrealistically colored animals after we filled the car up with gas. This time with my mom was no different, where I had traveled to NJ for a visit shortly after moving, and then shlepping her with 4 dogs back down to Florida by car just to get mine there successfully was an adventure in itself. But the one difference was that this stop was primarily for a piss stop for the dogs.
After hitting up a random dog park off one of the exits in NC, the dogs still had to go and I had remembered seeing pet toilet signs at SOTB the numerous times Josh and I had stopped to use the human toilets. This was going to be quite the lucky day for these canines. We pulled up to find a fenced in "yard" with a large dog house, fire hydrants, and a large grassy area for dogs to play and poop. Perfect find to let four dogs do their business. Those creatures of ours were ecstatic and ran off to explore the pet toilet area. With a migraine and blurred vision from the motion sickness meds I took, I can only say that the next 20 minutes of pet toilet exploration was a psychedelic and memorable experience for my brain, and myself, as we suddenly became the star attraction of the entire rest stop and I only remember the bright "South of the Border" lights surrounding us as countless patrons payed the pet toilet exhibit a visit.
One by one people approached the fence to reach over and pet each specimen as if it were a petting zoo. Not in the mood to interact with human beings as my head continued pounding, I continued to let each guest think I was part of the pet toilet exhibit, with my mom and four dogs. More hands reached into the fence.. hands of every color, size, and patting style as Weiner, Alvin and Penny enjoyed the pats. Elbee from what I remember was alternating between trying to attack the guests and allowing a pat or two. People asked us, "where did these animals come from?" I heard someone say, "who cares for these creatures?" and "how long do you watch them for?". People were even interest in their diets and behaviors. What the hell?? Between all of this and the flashing lights I really thought I was having some kind of out of body experience or perhaps even I wasn't actually on planet earth right now. Are people really that stupid? Many visitors even explained how Alvin was their favorite pet in the exhibit because he was so beautiful and seemed so calm and well behaved (well those of you who have been following Alvin's adventures on my blog know that is clearly not the case). People asked all about Alvin and seemed to have little interest in the other creatures. Alvin seemed to be enjoying the most pats as everyone casted their vote for their favorite animal. Alvin won, as he had received all the votes, and as this nonsense continued I only wanted to leave and move on further as we still had another 5 or 6 hours to go to get to my new home. Finally after each dog released a bit of pee and a lot of poop, we were ready to hop into the overly-loaded car and move on. Alvin was the star of the trip, between being the most popular animal on exhibit in the pet toilets, and getting compliments at every rest stop we went to. Are people delusional?
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