What living life is all about; crash course on being an optimist

It only takes one big blow in the lifetime of an ordinary person or a loved one to realize how precious the privilege of our existence really is. Don't take your life for granted; appreciate every breath you take, even if it's the kind you need to catch because you're in tears, you're torn apart, you're in pain, you're angry, you're frustrated or you think you can't go on living.

Someone at my job today muttered, "I hate my life" as he walked into the break room. I witness break-ups of close friends regularly. I've seen death in the face too many times, and hear of people dying left and right on a daily basis (if you don't- just watch the news). A close family friend of ours has recently become paralyzed. Was whatever happened at work today to my coworker really that bad in the scheme of things?

We just entered a new year. New Year's is a symbolic time for my family and I, not because we look forward to the ball dropping but because of a life-long change that occurred on New Year's day for us 11 years ago. My dad passed away when I was 13 years old; a shock, a blow, and a pain I had never felt before then overwhelmed me. At the mere age of tween confusion and already lost in finding the meaning of what life is really all about, I encountered a loss that is indescribable. Angry, hurt, confused, I really didn't know what purpose there was to life if human existence was a constant battle of losing those you love and having to suffer constantly... since after all, everyone around you will one day die, if you don't die before them. It may have taken 11 years for me to learn but I think I finally learned what living life really means.

I used to never be an optimist. I grew up being a Negative Nancy, because when you experience something so traumatic and realize there was nothing you can do about it, it could leave a tainted view of the world where your glass will forever be half empty. Having an attitude was of course part of the package (my mom would attest to that). But my best friend Talia at age 13 became my entire world and she really kept me going and gave me a reason to love life. I stepped up to being a realist because of this. More recently, I am easily and naturally an optimist and I'll teach you how to look at life to become one too.

After the storm, a rainbow can form. But in order to see it, you have to look for it. When my dad passed away, my mom experienced the loss of a love that no one should ever have to. While also contemplating on the purpose of life herself, she somehow was able to step up to the plate to act as two supportive and loving parents to a daughter heading right into the terrible teens. Not many people are strong enough or capable of emotionally or physically doing that. As an almost adult, I can say that besides the void in my heart for my dad of the person that he was and the person I loved, I don't feel that I had much missing growing up since my mom was able to take the place of what would have been a father figure. Death brought us closer and over the years she became my best friend. Through grief and suffering, it's possible to find a miracle that you never thought could be there. 

So this isn't meant to be a sob story about my life. My life is wonderful. I met an amazing man, and am marrying him in just 5 months. I have incredible friends, and am lucky enough to say I have 7 best friends (not including my mom), and one of them being like the sister I never had (and always wanted!). I have a family that loves me. I have a place to live, a car to drive, food on my plate, a number of healthy happy pets, the ability to bounce from one seasonal dream job to the next, all in my dream field of working with animals. I have my sight, so I can go outside and see beautiful sunsets from my house, take pictures and look at them over and over again, read books and watch movies. I have my hearing, and I can listen to the music I love. I have my limbs and I can walk wherever I want, go on hikes, learn to scuba dive, hug those that I love, paint and create artwork, and do Zumba and Yoga which are so much fun. I really couldn't ask for anything more. My paychecks barely pay the bills, BUT I am not poor. I have so so much. There are some people that are so poor, that what all they have is money. I'm lucky to be so rich. You yourself may be richer than you've realized.

Break-ups suck. But think back to every other break-up you've had and how over it you are now. Time heals. No this one really isn't that different, if it's meant to be it will work out later in life, but maybe isn't meant to now. Follow your heart, but be realistic AND fair to yourself and what you deserve.

Sometimes work sucks. But if you have a bad day, well it's just one day, and by tomorrow it will be over. If you hate your job all together, then quit, or change your attitude. Some people have no job.

People get hurt, people get injured, and eventually people die. If someone you love is hurt, be thankful they are alive and be there for them. If you are hurt, or permanently injured, be thankful you are still here. People die. Be thankful you knew them. Be thankful they changed your life, and think of ways in which you may have changed theirs. Think of this with those you love; if they died tomorrow, would you feel you made their life worth living just by being in it? Would you have memories to hold, and a love to treasure? For this reason, don't hold grudges, don't be mean. Say sorry. Every moment could be your last, or the last of someone you know. We aren't immortal. Being immortal may seem great, but after so many thousands of years I bet it would get boring.

Your life is like a book. Experiences are like chapters. Some chapters are memorable and crucial to hold the story together. Some chapters make you cry because they touched your heart, and you will never forget what happened, even long after you put the book down. Some are upsetting because something happened to a character in the book, but this event helped further develop the main character and make them stronger. Some chapters you might not enjoy reading, but you still learned something from them. Some chapters seem like such a big deal at the time you are reading them, but once you finish the book you already forgot they happened and realize how minuscule they were in the big scheme of things. This is your life.

Life is too short to not spend truly living. Get out there and live yours. The glass is always half full, even if you drank what's in it because you can just fill it up again. Depression is a serious issue, but you can get help. Some things are too painful to bear and life seems like it's not worth living, but once you lose it you can never get it back. If you feel this way, talk to someone you love or care about. One ear that listens is like the world. Remember this too, when you are able to lend your ear to someone else.

I am a real person just like you. I have bad days too. I have no patience and I have a temper. I can be mean, and I cry over a lot of things. But when I really ponder about the things I have, and compare them to the things I don't, it makes me feel so much better. I remember how rich I really am. Think about how rich you are, and remember what you have to be thankful for. This is what life is all about.

Think of what makes you happy, and that's how you know what life is all about.